Really, you bit and clicked on the headline “Hot, Wild Turkey Porn?” Turkey hunters hath no shame! Well, we’ve seen and heard of worse. So now that you’re here, it’s time to watch the sultry show brought to you by Ballistic magazine reader J. “Butts” Calabro, who shared a little “Springtime in New York” video with our editorial team.
Got Turkey Porn?
NY’s spring turkey season opens on May 1, and the hens are clearly already hot, hot, hot by the sights and sounds of J. Butts’ video she shot from inside her Mom Mobile that was idling in her driveway. Her husband R. “Fill” Calabro, known around the Town of Poughkeepsie, NY as the most frugal Facebook Marketplace seller the world over, recommended J. Butts send the video to Ballisticmag.com. He saw dollar signs as he watched the video on his refurbished Jitterbug Touch2 smartphone and figured the video would fetch at least $500.
Long story short, we told Fill and Butts that the interwebs are loaded with free-for-viewing-pleasure turkey porn and that the only compensation we could agree to was an Athlon Outdoors (publisher of Ballistic, Tactical Life, Combat Handguns, American Frontiersman, Guns Of The Old West, Personal Defense World magazines) ballcap and a box of Hornady American Whitetail in .308 Win. The Ballistic offices can a lil thin on swag, you know. As you watch Butts’ NatGeo-quality video, be sure to turn up your volume so you can experience the full effects of the spitting and drumming longbeards.
Attention Turkey Hunters:
Spring turkey seasons are poppin’ across the country. Here’s a quick rundown of some new gear to take your hunt to the next level. For a new blaster, check out the Mossberg 940 Pro Turkey, a semi-auto, 12-gauge thumper. It comes with a full camo finish and completely ready to hunt. Feed it with Remington Premier TSS turkey loads. Made from dense Tungsten Super Shot, these bad boys hit like Thor’s hammer.
Already a master turkey slayer? Then go next level, and drop this year’s bird with the Wicked Ridge Raider 400 crossbow. It launches bolts at 400 fps, making it as lethal as our Tom turkey here is a straight lady’s man.
