The idea of trying new things is always nerve-racking. I cannot prevent all the anxiety, adrenaline, and excitement that comes with it. However, if I take the steps to make myself as comfortable as possible, I have an easier time adjusting to stepping out of my comfort zone. I applied the same logic to shooting firearms, like a 9mm.

Shooting a 9mm For the First Time

Baby steps have been the best plan I could think of to warm up to shooting firearms. In the eyes of a beginner, firearms are new and foreign and need to be treated with the utmost caution. I began by starting small and working my way up to each caliber. 

My goal when shooting is comfort. I don’t care if I don’t hit a single target in the beginning—I just want to feel safe and comfortable. However, to grow, periods of uncertainty and discomfort can be necessary. I had shot a rifle and handgun—both .22 caliber—and felt ready to move my way up the ladder. 

The 9mm firearm looked no different than the .22 by design, but it emitted a different energy. Powerful, resilient, and protective. I knew as soon as I locked eyes with the firearm I had two options: let anxiety win or show my anxiety who is boss. I went with the second option.

Comparisons Between .22 and 9mm

Comparing the .22 to the 9mm, you can immediately tell the size difference, with the 9mm being the bigger of the two. Not to mention, 9mm handguns are louder compared to the .22. A .22 emits about 120 decibels, and a 9mm produces up to 160 decibels. While that doesn’t seem like much of a difference, it can be jarring, if not expected.

This poses a question: Does the size of the caliber make it more or less viable for self-defense use? The short answer is not entirely. Shot placement—where the bullet hits when entering the body—matters more. That doesn’t mean you won’t feel a difference when shooting different calibers. Likewise, there are some distinct advantages in larger caliber firearms. 

Smaller bullets mean less recoil, which is great for beginners. Stepping into a new, larger caliber makes shooting a bit more challenging.

A 9mm handgun is one of the most popular calibers for shooting and concealed carry. Initially, the idea of 9mm handguns invoked a sense of hesitation. However, they changed the game for me.

I felt like I was officially diving deeper into the gun world, and my gun journey was getting more serious. Suddenly, I felt like I was not just doing it to have fun anymore. I was doing it for a greater purpose that I did not think I was ready to conquer at first. 

Nothing was different in how I shot a 9mm and a .22. They operated the same, with the firing pin and all its mechanisms. Stand with your legs spread slightly apart, bend your elbows a tad, maneuver your hips, aim, and fire. 

The Pep Prep

I am notorious for guilting myself into things I do not want to do by telling myself I will regret it if I do not do it. The thought of sitting in anxiety all day long, being disappointed and regretful that I didn’t do something, is always enough to push myself past fear.

Like filling up my gas tank, I scold myself that my future self will be thankful the next morning if I go to fill up now rather than later. Nine times out of ten, it works, and I am happy I did it.

I have a method to my madness, and I applied that same mentality to shooting a 9mm handgun for the first time. Did I want to spend the rest of the day regretting that I didn’t shoot it? No, I did not. So, I shot the darn gun…even if I was scared. 

No Backing Out Now

While I stood there with the black handgun out in front of me, I knew I could not back out. I was already standing here and knew I could not let anxiety win. With one breath in and another out, my finger glided back against the trigger.

Eventually, it broke, and a loud boom rippled against the silence of nature. My seal of anxiety broke, and I was able to really focus on everything around me—like I had the first time I shot firearms. It was a feeling I came to love. The world appeared clearer, and I felt more focused.

I could not help but allow pride to boom in my chest. I knew I was getting more comfortable and confident around firearms. This was evident as I pulled the trigger back a lot quicker than my very first time shooting a firearm. I swear, my first time shooting, it took me like ten minutes of standing there shaking like a leaf while shouting, “I cannot do it!”

Two things happened. Relief washed over me at the progress I was making, and the reality of shooting 9mm handguns outweighed my expectations. I found that it was not bad at all. It was educational, it was exciting, it was safe, and most importantly, it was fun.

As I stood there, I could not even fathom why I was worrying in the first place. I had this expectation that the recoil would send me off my feet or that I would not be ready. But I remained firm against the ground and knew I could do it. I could feel the tingle of anticipation wiggle at my fingertips and knew the urge well.

I wanted to shoot again. And again. And again.

First Impressions of Running a 9mm

The first word I can think of is power. Strong, raw, radiating power. The power the 9mm handgun had was manageable, to say the least. But it certainly had a kick. Compared to the .22 handgun, it was a world of difference.

Even the size difference was immediately noticeable compared to the .22 handgun. The grip was wider, which gave my hands the advantage of a firmer grip. I did not have to fight for room to grasp the pistol properly.

I would have thought the smaller the grip, the better the handle. In fact, for me, it was the opposite. I liked the bulkier feel. It made me feel more comfortable and relaxed. I enjoyed shooting the .22 handgun, but the 9mm handgun felt safer. 

I knew it could do damage if I needed it to, and this firearm would do a good job of keeping me safe. It had a purpose, and I could only respect it.

I have never been one to want to get a CPL (CCW). The thought of the responsibility that came with concealed carrying made my stomach turn in a million different directions. I always assumed I would never be one to obtain my CPL. But the gears in my brain shifted, and I was struck with the realization I could do it.

The responsibility of having a firearm on me seemed more manageable now that I knew what it felt like to hold and shoot a defensive pistol. However, I know I have a long way to go before I step down that path. 

Rookie Mistakes 

Taking my hand off the gun was the biggest error I made when shooting handguns, especially the 9mm. The cartridge flying back at me left me on edge and startled me half the time.

Although this mistake was avoidable, it took a lot of willpower to push through the unsettling feeling. I had to force myself to get used to it and learn from it. Adapting and overcoming were my two goals. The more I prepared myself for it to happen as I shot, the more comfortable I got. 

I found the more rounds I fired, the less likely I was to remove my hand immediately after firing. As I aimed, I would move the gun at the last second. Similarly, when I finished firing, my hand would immediately move from the firearm. 

The best way to correct my mistakes is to practice. I know I will not become a master shooter overnight. That would take a lot of time and dedication on my part. However, the biggest lessons shooting teaches are patience and endurance.

Mistakes are going to happen. It is natural, especially when you are a beginner. So, it is crucial to be patient with yourself and encourage yourself to keep trying. I had to welcome the mistakes, be open to correcting them, and keep getting better.

I could have gotten frustrated and gave up, but in the end that would give me nothing.

Finding Confidence

I was not looking for perfection. I was striving for confidence. The ability to say, “I can do it!” and “I did it!” was the most important part of shooting a 9mm for me. When I left that day, I had an extra pep in my step.

I felt like I was on top of the world and could achieve anything. I was untouchable by fear, anxiety, and doubt. For me, that made it all worth it.

I stepped into shooting a new caliber, thinking the 9mm handgun was powerful, resilient, and protective. But I left, realizing it was me who was powerful, resilient, and protected. The pistol was just the key I needed to unlock that truth.

Who knew that realization was only a trigger pull away?