People say it isn’t nice to point fingers, but sometimes you have to. And when you spend extended time with friends in close quarters, like those found inside tents on lengthy trips into the wilderness, you learn a lot about your camping buddies. You can almost predict when they will wake up and go to sleep, how much they will eat at dinner, and how long it will be before the coffee kicks in and they run to the latrine. Ensuring good camp hygiene can make these close-quarter experiences much more pleasant for everyone involved.
Dont go Native, Learn Proper Camp Hygiene
When you share space with someone, you also hope they have the decency to maintain good hygiene. Sadly, that is not always the case, and sometimes you just need to tell someone, “You stink.” Sometimes, you need to let someone know their breath is kickin,’ their grubby hands don’t belong in that bag of food, or their feet smell like stale corn chips.
Sometimes, you just have to tell someone to scrub their ass. In an attempt to help you (and I’m not assuming that you are the smelly kid, but you could be), here are some tips to make sure that you don’t end up being known as the smelly one and that you stay on the right side of your friends’ opinions of you. Believe it or not, these practices could not only save your friendships, but they could also save your life.
The Head
Starting from your head and working down, you want to take care of your hair. Looking back at your middle school years, you probably recall the school nurse checking for lice and nits. Historically, shaved heads or short hair have been the norm when people are put in close quarters with one another (either as prisoners or in the military, for example).
You want to keep your head and, in particular, your hair clean. Bald guys can stop reading here. This can mean simply dunking your head in the creek nightly and giving your scalp a good rub. A simple plastic comb goes a long way, and having washed and combed hair will keep you in the good graces of your camp buddies and boost your morale.
For an added treat, mix in some good biodegradable soap, such as Dr. Bronner’s, that doubles as shampoo. On multiple occasions, we have used the mirrors on our baseplate compasses with a comb after a long duration in the woods before heading back to civilization. (This mirror is also suitable for trimming your nose hairs.)
Camp Hygiene for the Mouth
Some camping shelters could be more cramped. A three-person tent is more like a two-person tent with extra room for gear. When you have limited living space, you know if the person sleeping beside you has brushed their teeth. If they let little pieces of venison or stringy chicken get stuck in their back teeth to rot, it can cause some terrible breath.
To keep your mouth clean, do what you were taught as a kid—just brush and floss. If you don’t want to carry the extra weight of toothpaste, baking soda goes a long way. Floss can also be used to scrape your tongue and remove stuck bits of food, or it can work in conjunction with a needle to sew a button back on.
Keeping Your Hands Clean
Our hands are used so frequently. They harness our sense of touch. They are also the greatest tools for relieving itches in all places. What really skeeves people out is when someone in camp touches something nasty (use your imagination) and then reaches into a bag of shared food.
Your fingernails house bacteria, and you haven’t cleaned them out. Good soap, anti-bacterial wipes, nail clippers, and the diligent practice of cleaning your hands on a regular basis will make your friends want to shake your hand instead of giving you an air high-five.
An added measure is a nail brush to help scrub the grit out from under those nails. Keep your hands clean and avoid spreading germs to your camp buddies before you share any food. Double dipping with a chip is less of a concern than a single dip with a single dirty digit.
Washing Your Pits, Crotch, And Butt
At some point in our evolutionary history, the scents found in our armpits, crotch, and butt probably served a purpose. Now, we can thank God that we don’t greet one another like dogs do. Currently, however, the only purpose your scents from these regions have is to offend those around you if you don’t keep those areas clean.
A simple washcloth warmed with hot water boiled in a pot can be used to wipe these areas down at least once a day. The late Ron Hood had part of his washcloth marked “Head” and part marked “Butt.” You can elect to have one or more washcloths when practicing your camp hygiene. Some folks may choose to go the extra mile and even construct a camp shower on extended trips.
A less eco-friendly way to do this cleaning routine is to pack premoistened towelettes like Wet Ones or Dude Wipes. You can buy baby wipes if you want, but be warned: They are usually scented, and that can compromise either your hunt or your friends’ respect for you. Also, if you decide to carry premoistened wipes, don’t let them freeze, or trying to use them will be like opening up a package of Steak-umms.
Finally, know that your pits, crotch, and butt can also be home to rashes, and if you are prone to these, carrying anti-fungal creams, anti-friction sticks, and all-purpose Bag Balm may be good ideas.
Take Care of Your Feet
I know we have all heard the expression, “An army marches on its stomach,” and we get it—food is essential. However, an army marches on its feet, and so does the average Joe. Your feet need pampering and good old-fashioned TLC when you push yourself farther and harder into the wild. Toenails need to be kept short to prevent pushing against the insides of your boots, and a simple set of nail clippers or a Swiss Army knife’s scissors can make this happen.
The pads of your toes, your heels, and the balls of your feet are also prime locations for blisters. Moleskin is your best defense for preventing little blisters from becoming big, open sores. A personal favorite foot treatment of mine in camp is simple baby powder. Before sleeping, I dry my feet as best I can, cover my toes in baby powder, and put on a fresh pair of socks.
This is particularly therapeutic in wet environments such as jungles and float-trip camps. Also, dry feet tend to smell less. Protecting and maintaining your feet is vitally important. If you can’t take care of the feet that carry you, how can you be trusted to carry anyone else in an emergency? Bonus tip: In shared showers, wear sandals because people often do more than just shower in those stalls.
A Few More Things That Can Help
Cleanliness is next to godliness, and we want to make sure you look and smell nice in case that supermodel comes strolling into your camp looking for a cuddle buddy. Just a few simple packable items can go a long way in this regard. In addition to the kit previously mentioned, a small mirror will let you examine yourself, and two mirrors (like that one in your compass) will let you see behind you.
This will save you the embarrassment of asking your buddies to check you for ticks where your eyes can’t normally see and where the sun doesn’t shine. One last recommended item is a folding wash bucket for cleaning your washcloth. Even a small collapsible dog bowl will work instead of resorting to your cooking pot. That folding bucket is also the perfect container for storing all your personal camp hygiene needs in the back of your SUV or truck.
Keeping Clean
Camp hygiene is a serious matter. In an actual survival situation, altering your state of cleanliness may help you remember that you are human when subjected to inhumane conditions. A quick birdbath, a few passes of a comb through your hair, and the slightest scent of soap can seriously boost your morale, and we all know the importance of optimism in terms of who lives and who dies.
Perhaps you will be alone in a survival situation, or perhaps you will be part of a group. If you choose to reject these hygiene tips, you may find yourself left behind by the group because they have singled you out as the smelly one. Again, if you haven’t figured it out by now, never be the smelly one.
