In 2015, NYPD Sergeant Aaron Lohman stood at the precipice of despair. After receiving discipline at work, he found himself in such a dark place that he contemplated ending his life. “I wanted to end my life over getting discipline because I thought because my career was on hold, my life was over,” he recalls, his voice carrying the weight of that moment. “It was at that time I reflected and asked myself what the hell had I been doing for the last decade. I let the job on me and allowed it to come to this point.”

Self Healing With Aaron Lohman

This moment of crisis became the catalyst for an extraordinary transformation that would reshape not only his physical health but his entire approach to life. Today, known by his Instagram handle “Huge Fat Loser” (HFL), Lohman has shed over 170 pounds while becoming a beacon of hope for first responders struggling with mental health and physical wellness. But his journey transcends mere weight loss—it’s a testament to the power of radical self-accountability and the profound impact of sustainable change.

The Wake-Up Call

A haunting nightmare became the final push Lohman needed to embrace change. He dreamed he died at work, was overcome by an assailant, and was thrown from a rooftop. This chilling vision, combined with his earlier crisis, sparked an unwavering commitment to transform his life, beginning with his physical health and weight loss. The dream was a stark reminder of his vulnerability and the urgent need for change.

His approach to transformation crystallized into a deceptively simple mantra: “Get better or get worse.” When people question this binary choice, suggesting there’s a middle ground of staying the same, Lohman has a ready response that cuts through the comfort of complacency: “Staying the same is getting worse. The world and your life will pass you by if you don’t learn how to evolve and get better at evolving with it. That stagnation and that comfort is tempting, but it’s the comfort that kills us.”

Aaron Lohman on Breaking Through Denial

One of the biggest hurdles in Lohman’s journey was moving past the deeply ingrained tendency to blame others for his circumstances. “I genuinely think we always know who is responsible,” he reflects, addressing the internal struggle many face. “Even when we are at our worst, we will have micro glimmers of ‘man, I should really do something about it.’ But our brains are trained to protect themselves, so we immediately jump to ‘well, I would fix it, but…’ or ‘It’s not really my fault because…'”

The path to accountability began with sitting honestly with his thoughts, a process both painful and liberating. “Ask yourself ‘how do others see me and my actions’ and really sit with it,” he advises, emphasizing the importance of genuine self-reflection. “Not in a way where you are obsessed with what people think because that’s bullshit, but you have to harness self-awareness. It’s going to hurt, but in the end, you will see you have the power to change what you can and sort through the noise.”

Small Steps, Big Changes

Lohman’s transformation began not with grand gestures but with small, manageable steps that would ultimately lead to massive change. “First was tracking food on an app,” he shares, highlighting the importance of starting with basic accountability. “The second was to find something I enjoyed doing physically.” Remembering his childhood love of cycling, he started riding his bike to work a couple of days each week. The key to maintaining these changes was making them non-negotiable and celebrating small victories to “rewire my brain with positive reinforcement.”

Success required careful planning and unwavering commitment, especially given his demanding career in law enforcement. Lohman rises at 4:30 AM to ensure his workouts happen before his shift begins, a schedule that demonstrates his dedication to his goals. “People think I love getting up at 4:30, absolutely not. I actually hate it,” he admits with candid honesty, “but I know that if I don’t, it will negatively impact work time and family time.”

He emphasizes the critical importance of preparation in maintaining healthy habits: “Plan your meals, use the tools you can find to make it easier, the slow cooker, the air fryer, etc. Make meals for the week and bring them with you. You can’t control work, but you can control how you set yourself up.” This practical approach to wellness acknowledges the challenges of a demanding career while refusing to accept them as excuses.

A New Approach to First Responder Mental Health

Now serving as both a police sergeant and FBINA Resiliency Trainer, Lohman takes an unconventional and often controversial approach to first responder mental health. “The typical ‘we are special’ ‘please coddle us’ and treat us differently attitude is exactly what is failing us,” he argues, challenging the traditional narrative surrounding first responder wellness. Instead of focusing solely on job-related trauma, he pushes his peers to examine their own roles in their struggles, a perspective that often meets resistance but yields powerful results.

“While the job sucks, we can’t control most of it,” he explains with characteristic directness. “However, what we can control—our habits, our behaviors, how we treat each other, what coping mechanisms we use, what our culture is like, what we let each other get away with, and how we let each other behave—causes infinitely more damage than our career ever will.” This emphasis on personal responsibility rather than victimhood sets his approach apart in the field of first responder wellness.

Holistic Wellness Through Multiple Modalities

Aaron Lohman’s approach uniquely combines Eastern practices like Qi Gong with Western exercise science, offering various paths to wellness that acknowledge different needs and preferences. He’s also integrated mindfulness into his police work, though he notes with characteristic humor that if he called it “tactical combat breathing,” people would be more eager to try it.

“Mindfulness is really simpler than people think,” he explains, breaking down the concept for skeptical colleagues. “It’s just being in the present moment and learning how to breathe in a controlled manner to focus on your breathing… It has taught me to SLOW DOWN. Think better, breathe better, let that blood go back to your head, regulate that heart rate, and choose how to act.” This practical application of mindfulness principles has helped him and his colleagues make better decisions in high-stress situations.

Building Lasting Change

For those struggling to maintain long-term changes, Lohman emphasizes the importance of pacing and finding deeper motivation. “They go too hard too fast. Too many or too drastic of changes at once will lead to failure and burnout,” he observes, drawing from personal experience and his work with others. He advocates for finding deeper motivation beyond surface-level goals: “You want to get healthier, why? There’s a bigger reason than just ‘I wanna look good.’ Only you can figure out what that is.”

His approach to setbacks is equally pragmatic: “Don’t beat yourself up if you mess up. Just get back on it. Don’t let a bad day turn into a bad year.” This compassionate yet firm approach to accountability has helped countless individuals maintain their own transformations.

Aaron Lohman and Future Vision

Today, Lohman continues to expand his influence through public speaking and coaching, bringing his message of accountability and sustainable change to audiences worldwide. His unique combination of lived experience and professional expertise adds authenticity to his message. “Reality and lived experience. When I speak, I choose uncomfortable and real subject matter,” he explains. “I refuse to let people off the hook and coddle them while also remaining compassionate to whatever struggle they might be going through.”

He challenges those who claim it’s too late to change, noting that “Everyone and anyone is capable of change if they truly want it.” His work often involves helping people unravel their own self-limiting beliefs, using targeted questions to guide them toward their own realizations.

His next frontier includes writing a book and speaking to law enforcement agencies around the world. True to his philosophy, he remains open to whatever opportunities for growth emerge: “That’s the thing, I don’t know. I just choose whatever I think will make me better, so it can go anywhere, and I have no expectations.”

Aaron Lohman’s journey from crisis to transformation serves as a powerful reminder that rock bottom can become a foundation for rebuilding. Through his unique combination of tough love and compassion, he continues to show others that sustainable change is possible—one small, better decision at a time. His story demonstrates that transformation isn’t just about physical change or mental health; it’s about the complete reinvention of how we approach life’s challenges and our role in overcoming them.