There’s a hilarious Brian Regan bit where he talks about being dropped off at the airport. The cab driver says, “Have a nice flight,” and without thinking, he replies, “You too.” Only the cab driver isn’t flying anywhere. 

Later, a waitress drops off his food and says, “Enjoy your meal,” and again—”You too!” slips out. He calls it the automatic pilot response, and it’s painfully relatable. That moment when your mouth moves faster than your brain? We’ve all been there.

Speak with Confidence!

What I love about that bit is how it captures the awkwardness of speaking—especially when you’re trying to sound normal under pressure. It reminds us that speaking well isn’t about perfect timing or flawless words. It’s about being real and present and knowing how to recover when your brain throws you a curveball.

If you’ve ever choked up in a meeting, rambled in a pitch, or heard your own voice shake during a moment that mattered, you’re not alone. But here’s the truth: powerful speaking isn’t about being flawless. It’s about being present, being clear, and backing yourself up—even when your inner critic is trying to hijack the mic.

The Real Root of Speaking Anxiety

Let’s talk about that voice in your head—you know, the one that says, “Who do you think you are?” or “They’re all going to see right through you.” That voice is not your enemy. It’s just your brain doing what it thinks is protective: keeping you from risk. But risk is where the good stuff lives.

Confidence doesn’t come from eliminating fear. It comes from learning how to walk through it without letting it define you. And the first step? Master your mind.

When you catch yourself spiraling, reframe the narrative. Instead of “I hope I don’t mess up,” try “I’m here to help this audience understand something valuable.” Shifting your focus from performance to service takes the pressure off and brings your clarity front and center.

Your Voice Is a Tool—Use It Like One

Your voice is more than a sound—it’s a signal. And when it’s shaky, rushed, or hiding behind filler words, it tells your audience you don’t trust yourself (even if you do).

Start with pace. If you think you’re talking too slowly, you’re probably talking just right. Add pauses—they’re not awkward; they’re powerful. They give your listeners a chance to catch up and your words a chance to land.

Now, about those filler words (uh, um, like, y’know). Everyone uses them. The key is not eliminating them entirely but reducing them by slowing down and breathing. Yes, breathing. It’s the oldest, most underrated performance hack in the book.

Prepare, But Don’t Script

Confidence loves preparation. It does not love rigid scripting.

When you memorize every line, your brain goes into panic mode the moment you forget one. But if you organize your thoughts into key points, stories, and transitions, you give yourself a flexible framework from which to speak. That way, you’re not just repeating words—you’re actually communicating.

Try this structure:

Hook your audience with a quick story, stat, or question.

Share 2–3 key points that support your message.

End with a clear, concise takeaway or next step.

And always know the first sentence and the last. They’re your lifelines.

Presence > Perfection

When you speak, people remember how you made them feel more than what you said. So your job isn’t to impress—it’s to connect.

Stand with your feet planted. Make eye contact. Drop your shoulders. Let your hands move naturally. These aren’t stage tricks; they’re signals that you’re grounded. When your body says, “I’m okay,” your mind starts to believe it, too.

And if you mess up? Laugh. Own it. Keep going. You’ll be amazed how quickly people will root for you when they see you’re human.

Intentional Speaking Is Everyday Leadership

It’s easy to think of speaking with confidence as a skill only for presentations or pitches. But what about when you’re speaking up in a meeting, introducing yourself at an event, or giving someone feedback?

Confidence in these moments comes from consistency. Instead of rehearsing lines, rehearse your intention. Know what you want someone to walk away with—whether it’s clarity, alignment, or a sense of connection.

Try setting a “conversation compass” before any key discussion. Ask yourself: What outcome do I want? What value can I offer? How do I want this person to feel?

This shift helps turn reactive communication into intentional leadership. You stop chasing the right words and start showing up with the right energy.

The Inner Critic vs. The Inner Coach

We all have an inner critic—it’s that voice that pipes up with, “Don’t mess this up,” right as you stand to speak. It’s quick to point out flaws, exaggerate stumbles, and remind you of every awkward thing you’ve ever said since second grade. But here’s the twist: you also have an inner coach.

The inner coach reminds you of what you’ve practiced, what you know, and why you’re capable. Learning to shift from critic to coach is about awareness. Once you notice that voice, you can choose not to give it the mic.

Speak from the voice that wants you to succeed—not the one that’s trying to keep you safe by keeping you small.

The Power of Listening to Speak Better

Want to become a better speaker instantly? Start by becoming a better listener. Confident speakers are excellent listeners—they listen for tone, questions, and hesitation. They notice what’s not being said.

When you listen well, your responses become more thoughtful and relevant. You’re not just waiting to talk—you’re actively engaging. This builds trust and makes whatever you say next land with more weight.

Listening also helps you control your tone, volume, and timing. You’re more attuned to your audience when they’re with you when they’re drifting, and when they’re leaning in. That awareness is what gives your message staying power. In a world that’s quick to speak and slow to understand, becoming a better listener gives you an edge.

Try this: In your next meeting, resist the urge to fill silence with your thoughts. Instead, ask follow-up questions. Echo what you heard before adding your point. Watch how people start to listen to you more closely—because you’ve modeled what it looks like to listen first.

Handling Curveballs: When Things Don’t Go as Planned

Here’s a scenario: you’re mid-presentation, and someone asks a question that completely derails your train of thought. Or worse, you blank. Totally normal. The trick is not to panic.

Slow down. Repeat the question. Give yourself a beat. You’re allowed to say, “That’s a great question—let me think about how to best respond.” This does two things: it buys you time and demonstrates poise.

No one expects you to have every answer on the spot. What people respect is how you handle pressure when the unexpected happens. Grace over perfection every time.

Storytelling: Your Secret Weapon for Clarity

When in doubt, tell a story. Stories engage the brain in ways facts and bullet points never will. They build bridges between you and your audience fast.

A quick structure that always works: Situation. Struggle. Solution.

You don’t need to be a master storyteller—just make it real. Share moments, not monologues. One strong, relatable example can do more than a slide deck full of stats.

Confidence Is a Muscle

Confidence isn’t something you either have, or you don’t. It’s something you build—one rep at a time. Every time you speak up, you’re strengthening that muscle. You’re proving to yourself that your ideas are worth sharing.

And here’s the real kicker: you don’t have to feel confident to act confident. Most of the time, courage comes first—and confidence catches up.

Momentum Through Micro-Wins

Here’s one more mindset shift that helps: don’t wait for the standing ovation.

Celebrate the micro-wins. Every time you speak up in a meeting—even if your voice shakes—or clarify a point without filler words, that’s a rep.

A well-placed pause? That’s a win. Asking a thoughtful question instead of staying silent? That’s a win. Choosing to show up prepared instead of perfectly polished? Another win. These moments build up. They’re where real growth lives.

Keep a “confidence log”—a small note on your phone or journal where you track these wins. Add to it weekly, even if it’s just one small moment of growth. For example, jot down, “Spoke up in Monday’s meeting without second-guessing”or “Handled a tough question with a calm pause.” These snapshots become your highlight reel—a growing list of proof that you’re showing up, learning, and improving. Over time, they add up to something powerful: belief. Not borrowed belief from books or gurus, but earned belief through your own experience.

Think of someone like Brené Brown—authentic, clear, and compelling. She doesn’t speak to impress; she speaks to connect. Her TED Talk on vulnerability didn’t become one of the most viewed of all time because she was flashy—it’s because she was real. She stumbled, paused, and even laughed at herself. But she kept going. And that’s what made it powerful. Her presence is proof that when you speak from who you are, people lean in.

They’ve made peace with the discomfort and figured out how to show up anyway. That can be you, too.

Own your voice. Use it well. And know that every word you say with intention is a brick in the foundation of the communicator—and leader—you’re becoming.

The ability to speak with confidence and clarity isn’t a gift for the chosen few. It’s a skill—one that’s built over time with intention, courage, and a few stories that bomb along the way.

So whether you’re toasting at a wedding, pitching an idea, or finally speaking up in a room where you used to stay quiet, remember this: You’re not trying to be perfect. You’re trying to be heard. And that’s a goal worth mastering.