Like most, I was subjected to the typical flatware in my youth–a fork for things that needed stabbing and a spoon for things that needed scooping. However, it was a little later in life that I stumbled across the spork, and my life was changed forever. I even have two sporks in my silverware drawer and use them almost exclusively–my wife hates it but has gotten used to it.

But what about when you’re on the road? Are there any sporks out there that can fill the void of your trusty drawer spork?

I have been eating KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) for many years, and I remember the dark times when its spork was almost useless. They were flimsy, had almost no tines, and a very shallow bowl. It was almost easier to just grab a handful of mashed potatoes and shove them in your mouth.

But those days have changed. Since the dark days of woe and want, KFC has optimized and replaced its previous spork with a stronger and more useful version–at almost the same light weight. I am not sure when exactly this change took place–I mean…come on…it’s a plastic spork, let’s not overthink it. But it has been a welcome replacement.

With this spork being a far superior eating utensil to the previous, flimsy, version–that always came in one piece but left in two–is it enough to adequately fill the role on the road?

Let’s take a look.

The KFC Spork in Detail

When I first opened my KFC bag, I rooted around, looking for the prize at the bottom, and found that my Spork had come wrapped in simple, clear plastic wrapping–much like it always had. Keeping it simple. I liked it already.

The KFC Spork is a hand-filling 7.625-inch overall length and is constructed of a non-descript, black plastic, which gives the Spork a tactical look and feel. Thus making it easier to launch a clandestine operation on your food and eviscerate it with stealth, precision, and speed.

The 3.75-inch handle now has two lightening channels, running two-thirds its length. These lightening channels not only help reduce the weight of the Spork, down to a very wieldy .1-ounce, but they also add great aesthetics and help in retention during use.

The underside of the handle and head are hollowed out but leave ample side walls, as well as a cross-section at the neck, for additional strength. The sidewalls are a little thin and might cut into the fingers a bit while delivering a heavy load of mashed potatoes, but nothing a pair of gloves can’t resolve.

The Business End

The business end has seen the most changes from the original, with the narrowing of the head to a slim 1-inch. I felt that this change moved it closer to a dedicated fork and farther away from a spoon, which sacrificed some of the spork-like qualities. However, it does add more length to the tines, bringing them to a full .625-inch, which fixes the issue of the tines being too short for actual use in the previous version. But I feel that the pendulum has swung from one extreme to the other.

Running at a full 2-inches in length, the bowl is a satisfactory .213-inch deep. But as I mentioned before, it could have used a little more depth and a touch more width, to maintain more spoon-like attributes. However, I found it to be adequate for scooping.

Overall, I found the changes to be sleek, with just enough of a tactical flare that I would feel comfortable eating an MRE straight out of the bag. Like a man. As God intended.

A Force in the Kitchen

I can spend all day telling you about the new KFC Spork, but the proof is in the pudding…or coleslaw, as the case may be.

I wanted to start by testing the strength of the new Spork to see if all of these sidewalls and cross-sections were just for show or if they could really hold up. So, I got myself a nice scoop of mashed potatoes with a heaping pile of gravy on top. A heavy bite, to be sure. The Spork held up well, with no bending or flexing.

Next, to really put the strength to the test (I didn’t want to overdo it with the first test, you have to build up to these things), I used the Spork to begin pulling my chicken apart, rending a solid bite from the bird. I did notice some flexing during this, but the new construction allowed for maximum flex without snapping–a welcome change. There was a moment when I thought one of the tines was going to snap off. But I just changed my angle of attack and went at it again with no issues.

I followed that with a tine test by stabbing into the piece of chicken I had just ripped free of the carcass. This is the area where the new Spork really shines. The longer tines of the updated Spork really dug deep into the meat of the chicken and lifted it from the plate as if it were a dedicated fork.

KFC Spork Drip Test

Finally, I had to run a drip test, so I got a big scoop of coleslaw. Even though the tines are long and take up one-third of the overall head, I didn’t notice any of the coleslaw juice escaping from the Spork. However, I have to be fair here and mention that I did not have much juice with my coleslaw. I like mine a little dryer. I mean, who wants soggy chicken due to coleslaw juice? No one. That’s who.

After finishing an entire plate of KFC–involving two pieces of chicken, a heaping helping of mashed potatoes and gravy, coleslaw, and a biscuit–the Spork was still in great shape and displayed almost no signs of wear. Of course, it had to be washed. I’m not a complete animal. But it was still in one piece.

It’s Come a Long Way

I don’t think it needs to be said here–because I think everyone already knows–but the spork is the superior eating utensil. It’s a spoon. No, it’s a fork. It’s a one-tool option for those who just don’t have the time or the patience to switch back and forth between the two, like some kind of psycho aristocrat. I have things to do.

The KFC Spork has come a long way since the days of the flimsy spoon, with teeny little lip stabbing points at its end. Will it take the place of my drawer sporks? I am going to have to say no. Will it serve as a suitable replacement on the road? It’s definitely better than eating coleslaw with my fingers.

For more information, please visit KFC.com.

By the way, Happy April Fool’s Day!!!

KFC Spork Specs

Editor’s Note: Ok sports fans, this one is clearly satire, for some April Fool’s Day fun. So KFC, don’t come at me, bro. We love your delicious chicken, and the spork.