The fighting tomahawk is an extremely intense weapon. It is sharp, destructive, and intimidating as f*ck even in the untrained hand. Yes, tomahawks are used for breaching, breaking car windows, and saving lives … but I am not writing about that shit.
This here article is about learning how to fight like the barbaric nomad that you always knew you were. By the time you are done reading this, you will be a highly trained snarling tomahawk-swinging savage capable of scaring the shit out of your neighbors and destroying everything in your suburban backyard. Let’s get to the tomahawk fighting!
The Ancient Art of Tomahawk Fighting
1. Understand the Reach of Your Weapon
Most tomahawks are 15 to 18 inches in length. For this article, we use two tomahawks — one for myself and one for the “Bad Guy.” As you can see my attacker is quite a bit taller than me, meaning his reach is naturally longer. Add 18 inches of sharpened steel, and he has a huge advantage. I am unsure why, but Flex Luger is posturing his size and exposing a limb while expressing his feelings toward me with a friendly finger. It is important that I give myself enough distance from his weapon. If faced with this situation RUN. If running is not an option, grab an equalizer, in my case another tomahawk, and keep a low stance that allows you to spring, duck, and evade quickly.
2. Fight of Flight
If you choose to fight over running, it is essential to understand and respect a tomahawk’s power. Blocking a larger man’s strike with a tomahawk and STOPPING it is difficult. Blocking and redirecting it is the goal. Even with the most serious of wounds, a crazed attacker may not drop his weapon. In this picture, my attacker comes with an angle one lunging attack. I move to the inside of his strike power arc using the top part of my hawk’s handle to block his strike. This leads directly to the next move.
3. The Tomahawk’s Beard Is Your Friend
In this picture, it appears like I am lunging in and stopping his tomahawk dead. While stepping in to close to bridge the reach gap, I am also moving with the circle of his strike. The energy of his strike has been disrupted by my counter-strike. I immediately step back and use my weapon’s beard (sharp hook) to trap his battle spike. Using a lot of force, I then pull his weapon and redirect it past me, at the same time checking and passing his arm HARD with my opposite hand, pushing it clear.
4. Strike Hard and Fast
There are a lot of fancy-made for Batman movie moves that we can do from here, but we don’t want to give this A##hole another chance to kill me, so let’s strike what’s open. His arm is cleared, used that space to counter. I take a hard, straight lunging strike at Gigantor’s throat, driving the sharpened top edge into his neck. With his arm out of the way, it is the clearest attack path. Minimally, this should drive him back fleeing for his life with blood gushing out of his neck. Ultimately, we want him knocked down.
5. Show No Mercy
Keep in mind, this mother f*cker just tried to ghost you with a frickin’ tomahawk. While your attacker is on his back begging for his life, think of the baddest one-liners that you can conjure up and release the most colorful verbal assault as you raise your tomahawk and prepare to deliver the final blow.
6. Split Him in Two
What can I say about this photo? I say, strike down into his chest like you split firewood into left and right Twix. If your attacker is capable of getting up from this, that is a good indication that he is a tougher motherf*cker than you. Run. Or shoot him and run. Either way, your neighbors have called the cops, and you have approximately 10 minutes to shower and get your story together.
7. Strike a “WorldStar” Pose
Dude, seriously you just won a tomahawk fight. Take a bow. Step on what’s left of your fallen foe’s body, raise your weapon to the Heavens, and yell “I HAVE THE POWER!” as loud as you can. You earned this. Enjoy it you handsome God of War you. The REAL CONAN would be proud of you. Now call your attorney and wait for the Cops.
