We have developed a quick quiz to see if you’re a decent human being or if you are going to be forever known as “that freaking guy.” No matter what you may think in that optimistic little heart of yours, we have passed the point of no return as a society. We have become a nation almost overrun by social assholes. However, this shouldn’t be confused with someone being antisocial. So, are you the kind of person who deserves a “tune-up?” Or maybe you aren’t great in public settings and should stay at home binge-watching the next season of Black Mirror. Luckily, Skillset has a test you can take to determine where you stack up in life.
Antisocial and Oblivious
From phrases like “Sorry, not sorry” to “OK, boomer,” society has normalized the confrontational personality. We have done away with manners, common decency, treating others as we want to be treated, and compassion. Instead, we have replaced these with trolling, virtue signaling, and being offended by whatever used to bring us joy. But there is always hope; the pendulum could swing back toward normalcy.
Answer these questions truthfully, tally up your score, and then consider how you did. For every correct answer, you get one point.
Dinner Time
You are out to dinner with friends, and the restaurant is packed. The waitress is slow, and you are getting hungry. Do you …
A) … tell the waitress you understand her job is hard, but there is a bigger tip for her if she keeps those Jack and Cokes flowing.
B) … demand to see the manager and hope to get a discount?
C) … berate the waitress, make her feel bad, and then laugh with your unemployed friends?
Wedding Crasher
You are attending a wedding for one of your girlfriend’s friends. You don’t really know many people and don’t want to be there. Do you …
A) … stand at the open bar, get wasted, and hit on the bride’s mom?
B) … stand quietly next to your girlfriend all night, not interacting with anyone, and then tell everybody how shitty your life is on Twitter?
C) … make the most of it, introduce yourself politely, have some drinks, and then challenge the best man to a dance-off.
Antisocial Behavior
You are out on a date. What is the correct ratio for talking about yourself versus asking questions about her and listening to what she says?
A) 80% of you and 20% of her; you can tell that you are way more interesting than she is, so she needs to hear about it.
B) 50% you to 50% her; keep the balance and see if you can advance the conversation into her apartment.
C) 20% of you to 80% of her; gather intel to determine if she is a psycho cat lady.
Client Meetings
The boss invites you out to dinner with an important client. How many drinks do you have?
A) Just one or possibly two, but only if the boss orders one first.
B) Go one-on-one with the big guy. Show no weakness.
C) Drink as many as you want. He invited you, and he is buying. That’s called a green light in your world.
The Co-worker
Karen from accounting is sending an office birthday card for a coworker and asking you to sign it. What do you do?
A) Write something witty and hope that all the single ladies in the office pick up on how awesome you are.
B) write your name or initials since Karen sucks, and bringing her joy isn’t in your job description.
C) eliminate any chance that you will do something stupid and tell Karen your religion doesn’t allow you to celebrate birthdays.
Phones Down
You are at dinner with friends. When is the right time to check your phone?
A) leave it on the table, and every time it lights up, say, “Sorry, it’s probably working.”
B) Never; leave it in your pocket, stay engaged in the conversation and enjoy a non-digital moment for once.
C) Whenever you want. It’s your phone, and there is a good chance that someone on the internet is talking shit about you.
The Athletic Noob
You just started CrossFit three days ago and are excited about it. You are now basically a world-class athlete. When is it acceptable to start recruiting your friends?
A) Never.
B) Never.
C) Never.
The Best Friend Test
Your buddy sends you a text that says, “Hey man, please don’t tell anyone this, but I messed up and cheated on my girlfriend last night.” What do you do?
A) Screenshot the conversation because you never know when you might need it. (His soon-to-be ex is pretty hot, after all.)
B) Immediately tell your mutual friends behind his back so they know not to bring their girlfriends around him.
C) Keep his secret and know you just upheld the “Bro-Code.”
Politics
The 2020 election is coming up fast. How many political memes should you post on your IG feed?
A) None, because honestly, no one cares about your political views.
B) One every day. Whether they like it or not, people need to know where you stand.
C) All of them. You’re a meme-war veteran, and you’ve got an itchy meme finger.
The Cheap Skate
You are at lunch with a few buddies, and the check comes. What do you do?
A) Pick up the tab, call everybody broke dicks and let the world know that you make more money than them.
B) Before the check comes, tell your friends you’ll pick up the tab and tell them that if they want to cover the tip, that would be awesome.
C) Five minutes before the check comes, grab your stomach in feigned agony and rush off to the restroom. Then shoot a text to your boys telling them that the triple-pork nachos have given you explosive diarrhea, and you will link up with them later.
The Answer Key
- A
- C
- B
- A
- A
- B
- All of the above.
- C
- A
- B
Are You Antisocial?
Well, it’s time to see how you did. Whatever the outcome, antisocial or A**hole, you have found the right place here at Skillset. Our articles can help shape and mold you into a person who is a better fit for society. Unless, of course, you scored a 0-3, which means you will probably stay this way as there is no helping you. Either way, enjoy the articles!
0-3: You are an asshole. Seriously, there is little hope for you.
4-6: You have some stuff to learn. If you don’t change, your friend pool will dry up quickly.
7-8: You are like most people and are generally a nice person, but with a slight hint of douchebag. You might consider a career in politics.
9-10: People really like you, and the world is yours. You are a rare breed, my friend. Just don’t let it go to your head.
