Most people find being hard to kill a cliché phrase. We see countless bravado memes, like “I am the storm.” While these memes may reach us in some primitive way, few touch on the most essential thing we need to be hard to kill—a trained mind.

Being Hard to Kill Starts With the Mind

The most essential part of your self-defense kit is your mind. Without a good mindset, all your range time is nothing more than exercise. Much of what I will touch on today will take some time to digest. My hope is that it really prompts you to ask some questions of yourself and what you are willing to do.

The first thing we need to look at is our initial response to violence. When you are confronted with violence, it is important that you stay present in the moment. I do not intend that to be a line from a therapy session but rather an awareness issue. When confronted with violence, most people engage in self-talk. “What is happening?”. “What does this mean for me?”. “What will people think?” When you take part in this self-talk, your mind is distracted from what is happening right before you. This mental distraction can have dangerous consequences. To be blunt and keep things real, this is self-indulgent behavior. We are all critical of ourselves and, at times, perhaps too much. However, when we are faced with violence, we do not have the luxury of time. We can take part in serious self-talk after the fact.

Be Hard to Kill – Understand Violence

The next thing we need to explore is the nature of violence. This topic is worthy of a novel-sized article, but I will keep it brief. It is essential that you understand that the human species is capable of unthinkable violence. Humans have done things that would horrify you. Some of you may have experienced this in the past. Most, however, have never seen the dark side of humanity. The biggest reason I encourage you to understand this is to avoid once again being distracted. If you ever find yourself saying, “I can’t believe someone would do that,” then you have not come to terms with reality. The sooner we accept this, the sooner we can prepare for it.

One note on this. There are people in this world who see the worst of humanity daily. The first people that come to mind are police officers. Many of them have stories that would horrify you and bring you to tears. The weight of this daily exposure takes a toll on them. Compared to the general population, law enforcement officers face a 54 percent higher risk of dying by suicide. The moral of the story is to accept that humans can be terrible – but most aren’t.  Try to see the best in people, but know what they are capable of.

Embrace Your Own Capacity for Violence

The third thing we need to look at is our own capacity for violence. When questioned about “what would you do if…” Most people throw out a quick response. Most people say they would easily turn to violence to save themselves or a loved one. While I have no doubt that this is sincere, I encourage you to chew on that. If someone attacks you, are you willing to tear their ear off? Maybe gouge their eyes? Or, in the worst-case scenario, shoot someone. These situations are incredibly traumatic and will more than likely involve an abundance of blood. In some cases, criminals who have been shot fall to the ground and cry for their mother or father. Rare is the day that they just drop to the ground.

I bring this up because you need to come to terms with what will happen if you turn your violence towards an assailant. This is not to discourage you by any means. But help you eliminate one more roadblock. Nobody wants to be put in this situation, but if you are, we need a trained and prepared mind to work with. So, ask yourself how far you would go, and then sincerely answer yourself.

Be Hard to Kill – Have a Warriors Mind

We need to have a warrior’s mind—one that is compassionate towards people but simultaneously capable of extreme violence against those who would harm us. We need to train our minds with the same intensity that we train our hands. We need to embrace our capacity for violence and acknowledge that, used in the correct scenario, it is virtuous.

“Violence is the gold standard, the reserve that guarantees order. In actuality, it is better than a gold standard because violence has universal value. Violence transcends the quirks of philosophy, religion, technology, and culture. (…) It’s time to quit worrying and learn to love the battle axe. History teaches us that if we don’t, someone else will.“

–  Jack Donovan