Ok, so you grew up watching pro wrestling but still think it’s just a fake soap opera for men? Well, here at SKILLSET, nothing is fake. It’s been a while since we had to whoop some candy asses. But now it’s time to show you “Jabronees” how to do DDT a fool with proper technique. If you can smell what SKILLSET is cooking, give us a “HELL YEAH!.”

How to DDT a Fool Like a Pro Wrestler.

 Do you want to learn how to do drop kicks and karate chops? This isn’t the bleed-on-the-inside article that you are looking for. If you are disciplined enough to make it through this article, you will potentially, most likely, become “sort of” more capable of laying the smackdown on any fool who tries to disrespect your woman and her dog in public. And that’s the bottom line.

Every Alpha Male needs to learn self-defense to protect themselves and their loved ones, but until today, not every male has been able to find the proper instructions on “How to DDT a fool in the street like a Pro Wrestler.” You can thank us after.

 Dinner Plans

  You are on vacation in the lovely city of Chicago with your “girlfriend” and her service dog, an adorable Pug named Butterscotch.

 You are in line at the local Korean BBQ, and the oversized host points at your girl and Butterscotch and rudely informs you that they do not serve or allow dogs in their restaurant. Your arm-candy ring-girl is clearly upset by this, and you leap in to defend her honor like Randy the Macho-Man Savage would protect Elizabeth. Just when the restaurant manager attempts to defuse the situation, the oversized restauranter ignores any ring referee and decides to take a swing at you.

Since you are essentially a combination love child of Rick Flair and David Carradine, you let him know what you are made of. Block his right hook from the inside with your left hand. Raise your right hand above your head in preparation for laying down a Texas Rattlesnake cheek slap.

The Setup

 While maintaining a steely, glazed look in your eyes, deliver the first cold blow to the disrespectful thug in the form of an open palmed booty slap to the face.

Remember that each strike is a set-up for the final death blow, so make it count. Since the would–be attacker seems unfazed, you cock back your hand to deliver a fresh one.

Maintaining eye contact, delivering a satisfying backhand to the opposite side of the ignorant fool’s face. Remember, if the ROCK can slap Cody Rhodes, you can slap the Bejeezus out of this guy.

 That second shot stunned him. It’s time to deliver a Kevin Owens boot to the bladder and set up your world-famous finishing move that has impressed countless beautiful women.

 Point at him while he is doubled over and deliver a “Listen brother, you should have eaten your vitamins speech.” But keep it short. You don’t want to miss your dinner reservations.

From The Top Rope

Grab the doubled-over fool by both shoulders to control and hold him down while you set up your next move.

 You flex at yourself in the mirror every morning. It’s time to use those muscles. Wrap the strongest arm around his triple-chinned- neck, double up with your support arm underneath, cupping your hand under the opposite elbow. Give him a loving throat squeeze. Lift him onto his toes and spin him around 180 degrees.

 It’s time to tap into your inner Brock Lesnar. Flashback to what your older brother regularly did to you at your grandmother’s house when your parents were out on date night. Deliver a DDT and drive this Cabrone Candy Ass headfirst into the ground, a table, or any piece of furniture that may be nearby.

 It’s true, some of the other uppity restaurant patrons may think that you may have gone a little too far, but rest assured, this minimum wage fool asked for it. It’s time to live in your moment of victory. So, while your fallen enemy has his head stuck in the furniture like your foot was stuck up his ass. Deliver a world champion-level Rick Flair-styled “WOOOOOOOOOOO.”

The Big Finish

 Clearly Impressed by your heroic actions, your beautiful date places Butterscotch on your fallen foe, ala” Jake the Snake Robert’s signature python move. Google it.

Your professional wrestling career comes to an end. Even the arriving police seem impressed. It’s time to grill some Bulgogi steak on an open flame and swallow a handful of the blue M&M’s you keep in your jacket pocket for nights like these.

Now that you know how to DDT a fool, here are some more SKILLSET FIGHT CLUB moves for you to master: Tomahawk Fighting