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FAKE-Tical News: Bloomberg Training Video on ‘I Support the 2nd’

A new training video made by Michael Bloomberg-funded Everytown for Gun Safety for anti-gun politicians instructs them that no matter what question they are asked about guns, the response should always start with, “I support the Second Amendment, but …” The DNC reportedly issues the Bloomberg Training Video in its “Welcome Pack” to all newly-elected Dems in Congress.

Bloomberg Training Video Pushes “I Support the 2nd” Narrative From Dems

Latest information from the White House indicates that Press Secretary Jen Psaki had the strategy down pat after “circling back” on it only a few times, and Vice President Kamala Harris was already an expert at the strategy from the 2020 campaign. President Biden, on the other hand, is apparently having some difficulty.

“I support the, ah, you know, uh, the thing,” Bide said in his latest practice session in anticipation of his next press conference. “Now what’s this part about a butt?”

Last Texas Republican to Begin Carrying Concealed

In other news, the Texas legislature recently passed Constitutional Carry. Now the only registered Republican in the Lone Star State not already carrying concealed will begin packing too.

“Shee-ee-eet far,” said Clem Blaxton of Tarzan, Texas. Blaxton open carries a massive, Taurus Raging Hunter revolver. “I didn’t know it was a thang. Conceal it, you say! Whut the hail!!”

Reports indicate the last three Texas Democrats who don’t already carry concealed are sticking to their principles and refusing to change, despite passage of the new law.

FAKE-Tical News is satire for operators who are nuts about guns. If you find it offensive, it’s likely that you have a poor sense of humor. If you simply don’t find it funny, please keep that to yourself as the author is just trying to make a living. Find more FAKE-Tical News in each issue of Tactical Life Magazine. Order yours now at OutdoorGroupStore.com.

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